It's Getting Easier (Part One)

When I started this blog, oh two and a half weeks ago, I didn't intend it to be a personal blog. I still don't intend it to be a personal blog really, but when I was reading one of my favorite blogs Oh She Glows, Angela mentioned something important about having a successful blog - creating your own voice. I want to write to inspire others to make changes in their lifestyles, to express my passion, and to have my own creative outlet. It seems disingenuous though to gloss over how difficult it's been for me to reach this point.
Mental health is just as important as physical health and for me, mental and physical health were intertwined in the worst of ways for a long time. Throughout middle school and high school, my self-image was pretty warped in a terrible way. I could find a way to pick at everything about myself, but some things were worse than others. I hated my nose and my acne and my hair was way too frizzy. 
Not only did I have physical self-image problems, but my intellectual self-esteem wasn't so great either. I went to a high school that seemed to breed intellectuals like rabbits. I always considered myself a smart girl, but I really doubted myself in high school and I never focused. My mother's bout with breast cancer and my father's period of unemployment left me worried about everything but school and my transcript reflected that. By the end of high school, I felt like I had accomplished nothing. 
When you don't feel too pretty or too smart, sometimes things feel out of your control. The only thing I felt like I could control was my body. I could control working out, I could control binging, and most importantly, I could control purging. 
And unfortunately, high school was only the tip of the iceberg...

Posted in: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, health, mental health, personal, self esteem