No Regrets (One Day)

Today is a very bittersweet day for me: the first day of college football. Don't get me wrong, I love college football - today marks the beginning of the football season and the beginning of fall. However, today brings up some difficult memories and thoughts. 

I almost feel like I'm predisposed to experiencing more regrets than the usual person. I know everyone has their regrets, but mine are pretty deep. I can't say that leaving Ohio State is my number one regret because really it's a product of my number one regret: waiting so long to take action regarding my depression and anxiety. It's this regret that I really think about when college football starts up every year. I think about how different my life could have been had I stayed and, mostly, how much pain and wasted relationships I would have avoided. Thanks to all my psychology textbooks and the Internet though, I've found some good advice for moving past regrets, which I hope will help to lessen the pain.

• Put things in perspective. I think it would have been a waste trying to put anything in perspective say a year ago because, in my honest opinion, the only meaningful thing I gained from 2009-2010 was a resume boost. Things are different today though. I feel ten times more mature and most importantly happier than I was. I've made some great friends and I'd say this past summer was the best summer I've ever had. My GPA is higher than I ever thought it'd be in college and I'm proud of how much money I've saved up. I really am fortunate to be where I am today and while I have no idea where I'd be had I made different decisions, what matters is that I'm better now.
• Forgive yourself. This is where I experience difficulties. I'm pretty hard on myself and it's difficult for me to let go and forgive myself for my choices. I think it's especially hard for me because I feel like I wasted so much time on people I never would have met (and yes, I would have preferred it that way) had I stayed in Ohio and experienced financial and career stresses I could have avoided. Conversely though, there are people I've met recently who have changed my life for the better and I try to remember that when the "what if" thoughts emerge. Sometimes I think I work incredibly hard because a positive outcome is really what I need to actually forgive myself and that's okay.
• Talk to someone. Everyone has some type of regret, so while someone may not understand your exact situation, they can still empathize. There's always the option of talking to a professional as well. Sometimes there are things that are just too big to address on your own and that's okay.
• Move forward. I still think about my regrets, but mostly it's on days like today when events trigger the thoughts. I've formed my own life here now; I have a job, school, friends, family, hobbies and, while it took me almost 2 years back here to find a place of sorts, I do have one now. Don't let your regrets take hold of your life completely or prevent you from trying new things and making improvements. Just trust that you will make better decisions moving forward and things will start to feel better.